So, have you guys seen The Devil Wears Prada? ... Well, my boss is so much worse than Miranda Priestly. She has me turning tricks to pay for her dry cleaning. It's so degrading... but what can I say? I get to keep 40% of my "earings" so I guess it's worth it, finanically. Anyway, I'll be out until at least 2am every night this week, so if you need to get ahold of me call me after then. I would probably appreciate someome to talk to.... I'll be up pretty late. I've been kinda lonely lately, and I don't really get much intellectually stimulating conversation at work.

Btw, Kenzal just told me hello, as did Mindy and Jeff. I'm SOOOOO popular, now!

HELP!

Okay so my mom refused to get insurance on my phone which broke AGAIN when this asshole put me in a headlock at a party. So now I am screwed. The cheapest phone at verizon is $130.00, which don't have. I am just so pissed off at myself and the jackass at the Verizon store that treated me like I was a second class citizen until I asked to have his boss's phone number. Then sudden;y he is suggesting that I look on ebay and letting me borrow his spare phone and inputting my phone numbers into the phone for free. But he still will remain a complete and total ass for the way he treated me. I am just so angry. Alison is my only saving grace. She said she would look for phones for me. If anyone knows of a verizon phone that is in good condition and cost around $50.00, I would greatly appreciate an e-mail (basat@bu.edu).

A dirty, dirty whore with rouged knees. My name is Micaela Elaine Owen, and I am a slutty tramp. Slutty slutty trampy tramp tramp. A licenscious lady of the night, as it were. Also, I have anal herpes. I am that whorish. That is all.

This is Alison, and I've re-vamped Micaela's LiveJournal. She is precious, isn't she?

So my computer has returned to Best Lies. I received a voice mail at 5:15pm today with two guys who sounded drunk or high or something. To quote the one that actually made words, "Dude you talk to her...bubble wrap is fun... wait don't tip it over...we need something to lean it on." I mean what the fuck is that? But I get to pick up my computer tomorrow afternoon which is fantastic. I hope to god that nothing else goes wrong with it. I am also hoping that the thing that that these two stellar examples of the y-chromosome were not talking about "leaning" or "wrapping" my computer.
Today Taylor and I went down to talk to our landlord, Anwar Faisal, about the apartment. He claimed that he had our apartment appraised for $1850/month. I shot that down pretty quick and with some haggling, I got him to go down to $1650/month. Which is a $50/month increase in the rent or a 10% increase depending how you look at it. To move to another apartment would mean my parents flying up here to help me move ($300 for air plane tickets or there abouts) and then we would have to rent a car to move everything in (about $25/day for two days) and then they would have to fly back home ($300 again). So, that would be an extra $650 instead of an extra $500 ($50 * 10 because I sublet during the summer). I felt that I had done a decent job. However, Anwar is taking our old deposit of $1500 and applying that to our last month's rent, i.e. August 2005. Which means we have to come up with the extra $150 and a $200 "broom" cleaning fee for when we move out. That comes up to $116.67 for each person. Which we still haven't found another roommate. This lead me to call my Dad for help, because I do not have an extra $116.67 in my checking account. To be fair I have about $25 in it after I pay February's rent. For about an hour and thirty minutes he listed all my faults - I'm irresponsible, I use him as an ATM, I make bad decisions, I should be in Georgia where there is the Hope scholarship, I am going to become one of those people who racks up $50,000 charges on their credit cards and not be able to pay it back, my college loans will inhibit me from ever owning a house or a car, the interest rates are going to go sky high and I will be screwed, I am unorganized, I suck on a general basis, I waste time, I break promises, I lie, I did not make a 4.0, and so on. Then he basically cut me off. God life is fun. I mean really truly fun. Oh yeah, an this was not a quiet conversation. So Taylor and Alex got to hear all of it. I just love having to have a conversation that made me feel like I was 2 inches tall and then go out into the living room and face them. Thankfully they were both really cool about it and said nothing. I just fucking love my life. Oh did I mention I don't have a job?

Ali's kitty, Calico, died yesterday. There is never anything you can say that does not come out stupid. She was the cutest jiggly cat, with her fat belly and her tiny legs. I hate when a pet dies, mainly because they are what we all wish are friends and relatives were. Pets never fight with you, they always comfort you, and they will love you until the day you die.

God I am so fucking tired. I think I am getting sick because of all the snow that has encapsulated the city of Boston. My grandmother kept asking me what they did with all the snow and I tried to explain that the street cleaners just plowed it to the sides of the road where it sits until spring thaw. Fun right?

I have to do a presentation for Anthropology, which is something I hate doing. We basically lead the discussion for 2 hours. It sucks because no one cares enough about what we have read to discuss it for 2 hours.

So, because the Allston area is heavily populated with students, my landlord has started showing my apartment to people which blows because I want to live here next year. At first, he told Taylor that if we signed before he received another offer then we could get it at $1500/month, which is what we are paying now. But when I called to confirm their story changed to we could negotiate terms. Bullshit! So now, since Alex does not want to live with us next year we have until we meet with our landlord (i.e. some time this week) to find a new roommate. At first we both had interested parties, but now we cannot get in touch either of them. Oh wait, my friend Nicole just called. She does not want to live off campus so now all Taylor and I have is the hope that her friend Delila will come through. I hate people. They all suck. If we can't get someone to sign we are screwed because the rent is going to $2100/month - something I cannot afford. Everything is up in the air and I hate that feeling that at any moment the sky will come crashing down on you. See and you all thought this would be an uplifting post.

Okay so my laptop is once again with the Toshiba people, this time because the mouse will not move, even though it moved perfectly until I got back to Boston. I hate being without a computer. Taylor is really nice about letting me use her's whenever I need or want to, but she does not have word processor and, as anyone who has taken an Anthropology course knows, all you do in Anthropology is write papers. I have a weekly summary and analysis due every Sunday along with a midterm and a final paper that each will have to be between 15 and 25 pages. Oh joy. It is not that writing them will be extremely difficult it is just that I hate relying on people. Best Buys - the liars - claim that my computer will be returned to me sometime in the next 3 weeks. Not like I will need it anytime soon. Alex, on the other hand, acts like I will break her computer every time I ask her if I can use it since she has word. Okay, so I hurt my laptop, but that does not mean I will hurt her's. She acts like I am asking for her kidney or something.
Also, before I took my computer in I ask both of them if I could use their computers until mine was fixed, and neither had a problem. The closest computer lap is a thirty minute walk away in freezing temperatures, and Alex acts as though it is beyond her to take someone else's needs into consideration. I know that all of you are now remembering times when I did the exact thing so, yes I am aware of the hypocrisy. However, last year when Taylor was without a computer the entire year she used my computer, and I did not give a living shit. It is ridiculous. Alex NEVER uses it, so why the fuck does she care?
I hate talking to my parents. If I had a computer then I could e-mail them instead of listening to them. My mother's voice physically annoys me. That's right Alison it physically annoys me. I hate being like that, but she is just so needy and lonely that I can't handle it. My Dad is just the same. All he does is bitch me out for some asinine reason then act all buddy buddy with me, as though the argument never happened. I think it is just because he wants my liver. Wow, that was mean even for me. Oh so has everyone figured out that Ali is a lesbian? She is writing cryptic messages in her long livejournal entries, so if you look for them all the secrets of the universe will be revealed.
So I want to get a job, badly, since I have no cash flow, but my Dad is fighting me on it. He keeps telling me that if my grades drop the minimum wage job will be my future. I keep reminding how fond I have grown of eating, and if he wants me to not get a job perhaps he should provide me with some money to feed myself with. He thinks I should go on a diet.
Yawn... I miss my cat. I really do. When I was saying goodbye to him I almost cried, but as all of you know I am incapable of showing human affection so I did not.
I am worried about Nicole. I don't want her heart broken. Even if she gets married, 50% of marriages end in divorce, in fact most of the people I know have divorced or miserable parents. I don't want that to happen to her. Plus, I don't want to give her up. I really hate change.
EVIL computers.

My great accomplishments of today involved: taking my Greek and Roman Mythology final - which was a bitch from hell- meeting with my professor to discuss my ineptness in his class, and adding Travis to my friend’s page, so yea! I mean I am like Einstein creating the A-bomb. I had not slept in days because I was studying for Mythology, a class I thought I would like but when I discovered that the professor required us to know every little name I found myself plotting against him. Anyways when I finally got back from my meeting with my professor, I fell asleep on the sofa with Alex and Taylor. All three of us fell asleep on the sofa. We have rooms with beds in them but instead our laziness kicked in and we have yet to move from the sofa since 6 pm and it is 2:30 am now. How fucking lame am I that I cannot gather enough energy to even leave my apartment on a Friday night. Tonight, one of the few Friday nights that I have left, because after Christmas break the weather is so horrid that people rarely go out. We used to at least go out to movies or something, but none of us could muster the effort to get up off the couch! I have become an eighty year old woman who is trapped in my house. However, Robin Williams is on "Inside the Actors Studio" so that is a plus. I keep getting these e-mails from my Dad about how happy he is about life, so those anti-depressants must really be kicking in (I use that phrase a lot). That is always a plus, especially since my Anthropology teacher has screwed me royally on my grade. I mean she has no emotion or feelings outside of herself. The last class for Anthropology sucked. I was 15 minutes late, I had to sit in the center of the room, and I said nothing throughout the discussion. I know that I need to finish my Anthropology degree, but what am I going to do when I graduate? I have no idea how to support myself in any way and my adviser is just useless. She acts as though everyone comes from money and no one everyone always has a happy ending. My professors have made me a depressing person, so don't blame me for the pessimistic mood of this entry. Oh and Ali your phone sucks ass. I called you twice and it keeps telling me I have reached the T-mobile mailbox and to enter a code; so I tried to enter your phone number, but that did not work. So fix it you useless whore.

Ali and Travis skim ahead because you already heard this first paragraph.
So I suck at updating my livejournal, mainly because I got it because I did not have a cell phone to call all my friends in the peach state, but once I got one I felt that calling people was better than writing random journal entries. However, because Travis is cool and I never have a chance to chat with him I promised that I would update just to get his livejournal.
Okay, so I am one of the laziest people in the world right now, because Taylor and spent the afternoon watching Christmas specials, which only make sense if you are 4 years old. For example, Taylor's favorite one involves leprechauns, an evil banshee that apparently steals the spirit of Christmas on this desert island, and a Nazi child. I have no clue how that relates to Christmas, none whatsoever. More importantly, I ate an entire box of cookies by myself. So if you meet an insanely round woman at Christmas it's me. I tried to be productive today, but all I managed to do today was meet with my Stat group for like 15 minutes. Which really pissed me off because I spent 45 minutes getting ready/getting there and then we meet for fucking 15 minutes? It is 32 degrees where I live! And we have to meet again on Tuesday. I am just sick of people who are overly involved in school. Yeah, I know how hypocritical that sounds since I was exactly like that in high school.
So on Saturday Taylor and Alex went to see "Closer" and "Alexander" together and I had planned to go with them. On the discovery of my small bank balance, I told them I had homework because it sucks to always say that to them when they have tons of cash. They order out every fucking night and Taylor always offers, but it makes me feel guilty when I can never pay her back. She says it is cool, yet she always ask for money from Alex when she (Taylor) pays. So it sets up this weird feeling between Alex and Taylor.
Wow, I start a lot of sentences with so. If Alison is reading this she must be getting annoyed.
Also, I did something to my face and I look hideous. Literally. Now I know that I am bitching continuously, but Ali told me the purpose of livejournal was to bitch.
People's perspectives always so skewed. One person sees one thing and another sees something completely different. My dad sent me a card telling me how great our Thanksgiving visit was, but I thought it sucked - with him, not all my friends and my sis - since he was depressed throughout the whole time we were there.
Everyone must see Lemonee Snicket! I am watching the behind the scenes right now and it is awesome!!! I cannot wait. I only read the first book, which wasn't the best book in the world. It is the equivalent of a second-class Harry Potter book, but it was still enjoyable. The movie has the cut little boy from "Step mom" and of course the amazing Jim Carey. It looks fantastic.
School blows. I am so nervous about my Anthropology class, because my professor was a bitch an just fucked me royally on my midterm so I don't know if I will have a high enough GPA to keep my scholarships and loans, which she was completely un-sympathetic about. Isn't un-sympathetic a great word Ali? So if I don't make A's in every other subject then I am fucked. Which I don't think that I will, because I did not make it to most of my Literary class because 9:30 am twice a week was just to early for me. God if I had to go back to Parkview I would literally die.
Seriously my face is fucked up. It is scary, like Phantom of the Opera scary.
Why is it that whenever you have a shit ton of homework all the shows you want to watch are on all the time, but when you don't have anything to do there is nothing on T.V. and all the movies out are pure shit and all your friends are super busy.

Oh and Alison I spell checked this entry just for you, because we all know what a stellar speller I am!

So for those of you who don't know what Emo boys are they are emotional guys who are not gay but seem it. So I met this guy Dave, who I thought was gay because he wanted to come out to an 80's rock club with Meredith, Alex, and I. So he comes with us and he and I start to flirt, but again I think that he is just being gay because he is only kissing me on the cheek. Then, he starts saying bullshit like he can't believe he found me and how happy he is that I dragged him out of his room and I am like hey man I didn't drag you anywhere you asked to come. And that bit about "finding" me just pissed me off. He knew me for a total of 4 hours. We didn't even really talked. He just tried to dance swing style to 80's rock-you can just guess how well that worked. So we make out because well, it was late and hey making out is fun, but then he keeps coming by my room, so I have to tell him it was just making out and nothing more. That was actually okay because he took it like an adult, well almost like an adult, and I will probably never see him. Oh the reason why he is Emo Dave is because he has a "secret passion for romantic comedies" and he owns "When Harry met Sally"-not the downloaded or burned version but he actually has bought a copy. No one that emotional is worth dating if you are female you know? Yeah so that was my week. Oh and my roomate's dad turned out to be a jerk to her mom because he cheated her out of some money, but she is really taking it hard. Now her parents are married and rich so the money really isn't the issue-it is more like a trust thing. She is such a daddy's girl it hurts and she is just broken up that her dad did this. I feel for her, I do. But, at some point you have to seperate the ideal version of your parents from the reality that they are. She knew her dad was not perfect, but she did not know how bad he was. Oh well.

So I haven't updated this in a while and I apologize. Life is just so fast sometimes and sleep is such a tempting mistress. Anyways I have a few cute boys who I work with that make life fun. My title relates to my superior intelligence. Now that I am a "lunch lady" I have many hard responsibilities, like pulling the bread out of the oven and making sure there are enough napkins. Now the napkin thing I have down, but alas the bread through me. I have such coordination that I managed to leave the cookie sheet of bread on my arm long enough to cause this HUGE welt to appear. A welt that has started to swell and ooze causing me to think that perhaps I should look into amputation. Will sucks because he doesn't have a phone. I just thought that I would put that out there. I know that I have been a bum - since I seem to have forsaken aim - but I am not. George decided that he hated me and would not let me make data CD's so I had to erase a large part of movies because I could not get him to run any programs. All those Buffys. Tear. Alison has gone in search of wild game - also known as food in some parts of the world- in Roswell. I think that she will fail but she has with her Li so who knows? Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Good luck on your Molecular Biology Exam. I know that you will make an A. Remembering the title of the course is like half of your grade. Ali you have forsaken me. Where oh where have you been? Nicole has also forgotten me. Or perhaps her roommates are running internet porn sites. Who knows? I lost a scarf. It was really upsetting. I mean my accessories are like children to me, or something that I value and worry about. I am off to never never land. Well I wish I was off to never never land. Remember kids fire is hot, and so are Orlando, Heath, and Brad!

Icky Icky classes take up so much of my time that I have very little time to devote to my friends and to my TV. It is undeniably depressing. So now that I am a "cafeteria lady" - to quote Ali - my poor fingers have been burnt by the most evil contraption ever made by man ( i.e. the pop corn machine). I think that after everything is said and done my parents are insane. They practically forced me to get a job on campus and now they are petrified that I will start to decline academically- please I have been declining since sixth grade. So Melody, Caitlyn, Courtney and I have decided on a semester project of sorts. Since we are all single white females surrounded by several gorgeously gay males at BU we are going to branch out into the other schools in search of a few good men. The prospects are unlikely, but hey what else do I have to do besides work, school, watch TV, hang out with my friends, meet new people, and escape clouds of gnats. Seriously I think BU has a gnat problem. So yeah that is our project. I don't know how I feel about it because I never go out searching for guys. Not that I mean that I have to beat them off with sticks or anything it just has always been my philosophy that if you are open to a relationship and a worthy person then guys will find you. I feel that people who always have to have a guy are way to dependent on the guy of the moment. Like people who stay in relationships just to be in relationships are the same. They just want to have someone to be there for them because they are not strong enough to stand on their own. I know that I have never been in love so that puts me in a different place than a lot of my friends, but there is something so demeaning in searching for guys. Like some how a man will complete me or something. I can't ever imagine having that little self confidence. So yeah I feel odd about saying that I don't need anyone and that searching for someone implies that I NEED him - I may want him, but I will never need him.

So I was already freaked out when I found out that the graduate student who was my TA last year was in the same anthro class as I was, but then I went to Tae Kwon do. For those of you who are blessedly unaware Tae (foot) Kwon (hand) do (method or path) is the Korean art of self defense that specializes in leg work, that is why Tae comes first. I found this out from my teacher who is a 5th degree black belt and one of the most intense people I have ever met. He is just so persistent when he talks to you that you feel like you have come face to face with the Spanish Inquisition... "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition"-sorry I just couldn't resist. Anyways he basically told us that in 2 weeks all of his students will be able to seriously maim or kill someone. All I wanted was a self defense class and now I am becoming a trained assassin. As if my other courses weren't hard enough. The lowest level that I am taking is a 251. So let's just say this is not going to be an easy semester. Wow okay so it is almost 3 am and I need sleep. HAPPY HAPPY UN-BIRTHDAY TO YOU! TO ME? HAPPY HAPPY UN-BIRTHDAY TO ALISON!!!!